Crunchy Thoughts

The thoughts are crunchier here.

June 28, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on kitchen complaints, episode eleven

kitchen complaints, episode eleven

My least favorite meal of the day is breakfast, especially on weekday mornings. The kids are hungry, ornery, and prone to make messes. They can take FOREVER to eat their meal, and they love to push each other’s buttons.

If I was in charge, I would ban breakfast.

But alas.

Yesterday morning was another usual weekday breakfast, and Lydia was being especially contrarian.

“The largest planet is HB100546b,” Sam informs everybody.

“No it’s not. It’s VY Scuti,” Lydia retorts.

“Biggest planet, not star,” Sam counters.

“You said ‘star,’ ” she continues.

Ugh. Time to end this. “Lydia, why are you always arguing with your brother during breakfast? Leave it be.”

“I do not always argue,” Lydia grumbles . . . and then it hits her.

“. . . oh.”

June 11, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on sputnik; 96 months in orbit

sputnik; 96 months in orbit

A little over a week ago Sam turned eight years old. Old Man Sam!

Sam’s birthday falls right on the cusp of changes: his birthday heralds in the beginning of Kid Summertm and our annual changeover from one grade to the next. Now, Kid Summertm doesn’t really mean much in this household — we keep trucking through school — the biggest difference is the occasional 10:00 a.m. doorbell ring when one of Lydia’s neighborhood friends is looking for her. Both kids go up a grade at the beginning of June, so right after Sam turned seven last year he began 2nd grade, and he polished that off just a few weeks ago at the end of May. We have a third grader, folks!

Second grade was filled with some trials and tribulations. Focusing and general concentration is not one of Sam’s strong suits so we began some medication to combat some of his ADHD symptoms. Lydia had great success early on when we began to treat her ADHD, but Sam gave us yet another lesson in Every Kid Is Different. Some medicine that helped his ADHD symptoms gave him horrible side effects in the anxiety department, and other medicines that did not cause anxiety also did not alleviate the ADHD issues. Trying out all these different meds was a slow-growing process: many of them have to be started (and stopped) ever so slowly, giving me PTSD flashbacks of titration labs from college chemistry. All the while we were titrating on or off a medication, Sam’s schoolwork suffered.

By March, Sam’s doctor and I figured we were perhaps putting the cart before the horse by treating the ADHD first, anxiety second. So we switched tactics by treating the anxiety with a low dose of Zoloft. This also took time and tweaking. At first he was taking it at bedtime, and in the morning he was a right ol’ crab.

Once we backed up the dose time to dinner, the mornings got better, and Sam’s general anxiety lessened. Ever so slowly, we added in a low dose of another medication to combat the ADHD . . . and it’s working. It’s not perfect, some days are still tough, but Sam, his doctor, and I are all content with the level we’re currently operating at.

Most importantly, these changes have helped Sam’s schoolwork.

Perhaps I’m oversharing and you don’t really want to know the ins and outs of Sam’s medication exploits, especially on a yearly update. They’re supposed to be fun and nostalgic and celebratory, right? Perhaps you even judge me, tut-tutting me putting my young son on all these meds . . . drugs . . . CHEMICALS! That’s okay. I judge me, too. Every day I re-evaluate these decisions and my motivation for making them. Every day I doubt.

Then I see Sam, who is so dang happy he figured out that math problem IN HIS HEAD that he gives me a high-five so hard I can still feel it 30 minutes later. Oww oww oww.

Maybe it’s more than anyone really needs to know about the steps we take to help regulate Sam’s mental state, but it’s a part of him and a part of his year. It’s hard, he struggles, he overcomes. It’s important.

In Sam’s seven-year update I remarked on how well he was doing in OT and even mentioned he might be doing well enough to qualify out soon. I am happy to report that he did continue to improve with OT and in September he had his last appointment with “Miss Donna.” As part of her thank-you-for-everything gift, Sam hand-wrote her a note. He gave her that along with a Godzilla. It was sweet; we all cried.

In August, we traveled up to Tennessee with Grandma, Papa, Kevin, and Stephanie to witness the Solar Eclipse of 2017. I had been looking forward to August 21, 2017 for many years — that upcoming date has been listed in the Almanac since I was a kid. For the day of the eclipse, we camped out in a park in Gallatin, Tennessee with quite a few thousand other people. The City of Gallatin did a great job with the organization of their event, so there were ample food trucks, port-a-potties, and little cardboard church fans emblazoned with the date.

Us adults sweated in the shade while the kids played on a nearby playground.

As the time of the eclipse drew nearer, subtle changes began to happen: the sun, while still incredibly bright, began to feel less intense; the filtered shadows cast on the ground by trees began to look crescent-shaped; and us humans began to almost buzz with excitement as the minutes crept nearer. Then suddenly . . .


Darkness, in the middle of day. A swell of hooping and hollering rose over the park as thousands applauded the moon. Crickets began to chirp and bats, thinking it was dusk, began to fly around. It was surreal. Then a few minutes later, the sun was back, and that was that. The kids loved the experience, and we are all looking forward to 2024.

Here is a video of Sam and Lydia talking about their experience:

The next month was September and we took our annual beach trip. This year we did things a bit differently: I had a class to teach down at the beach, so we turned that work engagement into our vacation. Instead of our usual condo stay, we were in a hotel room. This worked out fine for us, but after many years of condo beaching, it’s weird to eat out every night instead of cooking for ourselves.

The weather was not our friend either. Every day was extremely windy. When we were out on the beach, it was akin to being sandblasted. The kids were not deterred, however, and were able to have some good beach time.

After we were back from the beach, Sam next began to anticipate Halloween. He even talked me into putting up the Halloween decorations the second week in September. Since Halloween leads into Thanksgiving, and then into Christmas, that means for a third of 2017 we were in holiday mode in the house.

Once Halloween finally arrived, Sam decided to be Godzilla again . . . but with sais.

Yes, he’s still VERY MUCH into Godzilla. He is eagerly anticipating the next few upcoming Godzilla movies, both animated and live-action versions.

Throughout the entire year, Sam continued taking drum lessons with Mr. Wes. He continues to improve and he loves drums more and more. Every once in a while, he lets me come in the room and make a video of what he is working on:

Do you notice how he’s all like, “Hey guys, and welcome to another video!”? This past year, Sam (and Lydia, too, for that matter) has gotten into the whole YouTuber scene. He loves to watch these nutty videos of people on YouTube doing crazy stuff. There’s one husband and wife duo Sam loves, and all they do is play Minecraft together. Then there’s Dr. Squish, who messes with slime, putty, and opens up squishy toys to see what’s inside. There’s also some guy named Rich who plays with dinosaur toys. They are all overly animated in their speech and are constantly telling you to SLAM THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON!

Many times I hear Sam talking to himself while he’s playing, and when I listen to what he’s actually saying, I can tell he’s pretending to record his own video. “Hey guys, welcome back to another video with Saaaaaaaam! Today . . . we are going to be looking at THIS. COOL. GODZILLA!

And as inane as a lot of this stuff on YouTube is, Sam has also become fixated on some videos that has taught him more about space than I ever knew. Sam can tell you about all the planets, and I mean ALL ABOUT the planets, from how many moons they have, to the moons’ names, how long they take to rotate, what kind of volcanoes they have, and on and on and on. He can tell you about the dwarf planets and where they are in the solar system. The biggest stars ever discovered? He knows. How black holes work? He can tell you! Ever heard about the theoretical Planet Nine? I have — from Sam.

Suffice to say, space and the universe has become one of Sam’s Things.

And now we’re back to June. Sam’s birthday fell on a Saturday this year, so we went out on our special day with him on Friday the 1st. This year we took him to Alabama Splash Adventure, a water park in Bessemer that began life as the ill-fated Visionland. I must say I was pleasantly surprised by the place: clean, fun, free drinks, and multiple attentive lifeguards.

In years past, going out for your special birthday day meant it was just us parents and the birthday kid — the other, non-birthday kid got to spend the day with Grandma (which is always a day well-spent). But Sam is a sweet soul, and he told us he wouldn’t have as much fun at a water park if Lydia wasn’t there to experience it with him. So, for his special birthday day Lydia came along, too.

Lydia is more pragmatic and isn’t planning on returning the favor a few weeks from now.

The next day was his birthday party on his Actual Birthday. And the theme?

Do you even have to ask?

A Godzilla birthday for a Godzilla Sam. All the Godzillas (and some people) came to celebrate!

So what’s next for Godzilla Sam? Well, I’m sure he plans to get more Godzillas to add to his collection (because 30-something just isn’t enough):

He will stay in the pool as long as he can (and make the biggest waves ever):

He will expect another six inches of snow right before Christmas (and be very upset when it doesn’t happen):

And through it all, Sam will ask his most important question: “Yeah, but is it the biggest/best/tallest/most awesomest EVER??”

May 27, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on like it never even happened

like it never even happened

Sam was having a bad day this morning. He was trying to play a new game on his Orange but it was frustrating him, and it eventually led to a bit of a meltdown. A meltdown so early in the day can bode ill for the Williams household.

I began a valiant effort to turn his day back around by suggesting he could make a video about all of his Godzillas. Sam sometimes fancies himself a YouTuber and is known to emit phrases such as, “Make sure you SLAM that like button!” or “Hey guys, welcome to another video!” I had been resisting the Godzilla video because I knew it would take up a lot of time . . . and gigabytes!

Suggesting the video idea to Sam got him in a better mood quickly, and so we made our video. He talked for thirty-two (32!!!) minutes about all of his Godzilla toys. He detailed each one, explained what he liked about them, and then arranged them for the camera. Very cute stuff.

Later this afternoon, I began the arduous task of editing the video in iMovie on my phone. I was able to cut that 32 minutes down to just 16, and I even added little text notes and flairs. It was now Super Cutetm.

But when I tried to save the video out of the iMovie app, it was fussing at me, saying it needed more hard space. Of course it does! There’s a 32 minute video on my phone, along with a 16 minute one! So I cleared up some space, shifted things off here and yonder, but no dice. It just wouldn’t work.

So I thought, “Well, the iMovie has the 16 minute file, so I don’t need the 32 minute one anymore!”


And then iMovie deigned to tell me how it worked — it still needed the original video to make that saved cut. And it is GONE.

Gone gone gone.

So Sam is in a good mood . . . but I’m pretty pissed at myself.

May 16, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on fly you fools

fly you fools

So I forgot to do my little dinky birthday post cat meme thing last week. First time I’ve missed it in years. Whoops!

Well, I was a bit busy that day.

Starting when Lydia turned five, Steven and I began a tradition: we would take the birthday kid out all day on their actual birthday, just the three of us. It didn’t matter if it was a weekday, weekend, or National Doughnut Day, we would go out and do whatever that particular birthday kid wanted. Chuck E Cheese? Sure! McWane Center? You bet!

I love this tradition. It’s up there with Pumpkin and backyard bonfires.

But it never occurred to us that we could have it for ourselves, too. Part of the problem is Steven’s birthday: his day is completely sidelined by Lydia’s. My birthday is part of The Gauntlet. So we get overlooked.

Until this year. For me, at least.

This year my birthday was on a Wednesday, and Steven takes me out for the entire day. So that’s why there wasn’t a birthday post. I was indisposed.

Early that morning after dropping the kids off we go to the new TopGolf place in downtown Birmingham. It’s like bowling, but golf! The aim is to hit golf balls way out in this green space that’s littered with targets to hit. You’re positioned in a big awning space open to the outside, and while you’re golfing you can also order up food and drinks.

Now, I’ve never swung a golf club outside of putt putt before, and I am feeling completely ridiculous with the first few — or twenty! — swings. Half the time I completely miss the ball! Once I get more used to it I don’t feel quite so silly and I’m able to hit some targets. In between shots, we feast on chicken and waffles along with some mimosas. Steven gets ridiculously good by the end, consistently hitting the farthest target. I like the kind of golf where you don’t have to walk around all the time!

After TopGolf it is nearing lunch, so we head to the Avondale Common House. I’ve eaten there many times before but it is a first for Steven. I’ve been wanting to take him for a while. I enjoy my salmon poke bowl and Steven is also pleased with his Rueben sandwich. If you ever go there, look up at the ceiling. It’s my favorite part!

Next it is time for the most outlandish event of the day: zip-lining. Now, I am neither outdoorsy nor a big fan of heights, but this was actually my idea. I’m not sure why I was willing to sign up for this . . . perhaps I’m trying to prove I’m not too old yet.

So, at 2:30 p.m. on May 2nd, 2018, I am perched on the edge of an 80 foot high tower connected to a hundred foot long cable, gussied up in all sorts of heavy climbing gear, cursing my earlier self using all the best drumline language I know.

Steven has already flown down. I was supposed to go on the line parallel to him, but my brain, despite all the safety harnesses and double-triple backups that I knew were in place, won’t let me shove myself off the platform. So here I crouch.

“You can do this!” Steven hollers from the ground. “It’s great!”

“It’s fine,” Paul Rudd #1 assures me. We had three Official Park Zip-lining People with us, and two of them looked like Paul Rudd à la Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The third guy looks like the tall skinny dude from In the Loop (though most of y’all know him from Silicon Valley or The Office). “People get nervous all the time. You can go when you’re ready.”

Paul Rudd #2 and the In the Loop dude are at the other ends of the line. “Woooooo! You can do it!” screams Paul Rudd #2 over the radio.

And here I crouch. While I am sitting there, I know, I KNOW, that I will eventually jump. I know I will do it. But knowing I would jump versus actually jumping are two different things.

Overriding that part of your brain that is solely intent on keeping you from spectacularly killing yourself is really difficult. Difficult, difficult, lemon difficult.

“Jump, Carrie,” I think to myself. “Do it. Jump. Jump. Jump.” And each time I think, “jump,” I fully intend to do so. “Jump. Jump. Jump, fool!”

And I jump.

I’m falling, I’m flying, and hey, I’m not dead! The trees blur past me on either side, and streams of drumline language pour out of my mouth as I race down.

“Wooooooooo!” scream everybody from below.

“$&@#%€¥ $& @£%#!!!” I holler back.

On my next jump (we get to go twice each), I don’t hesitate, so Steven and I are able to fly down together.

I am also able to hold back on the language the second go-around.

After hearing our tales from the day, Lydia is super jealous about the zip-lining part. Unfortunately for her, she needs to gain about 15 pounds and four inches before she can have her own little freakout experience.

Sam is content to keep his two feet on the ground.

Thankfully, neither of them know much drumline language yet.

April 26, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on allergies are optional

allergies are optional

A few weeks ago we planned to attend a hockey game in town, but through an unfortunate set of circumstances we ended up in a movie theater instead.

Sam jabbered away about the strongest Godzillas while we waited for the movie to start. The movie screen was subjecting us to a smorgasbord of commercials when suddenly an Allegra commercial came on, imploring us to remember the other patrons in the movie theater: no talking, please turn off your cell phones . . . **big sneeze** and turn off your allergies.

Yeah, okayyyyy, because that’s super easy. Why didn’t I think of that?

A few minutes later Allegra was back with another winner that showed cute video clips of sneezing animals set to a bouncy little tune. “It’s cute when they sneeze,” Allegra says. “But not when we do it.”

Geez Allegra, thanks for the allergy shaming. Can we just start the movie now?

February 11, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on kitchen complaints, episode ten

kitchen complaints, episode ten

Sam is not a fan of the Imperial system, but this isn’t really so much a complaint as a cross examination. It was discussed over dinner, though, so work with me here.

Sam: “Mom, how high does a plane fly? Is it close to the tallest building?”

Me: “Planes fly at 39,000 feet, baby.”

Sam: “No, in meters.”

Me: “Hmm, Alexa, how many meters is 39,000 feet?”

Alexa: “39,000 feet is 11,887.2 meters.”

Me: “There you go, buddy. 11,887 meters.”

Sam: “How many tallest buildings in the world is that?”

Me: “Uhh, how tall is the tallest building in the world?”

Sam: “828 meters.”

Me: “Okay. Alexa, what is 11,887 divided by 828?”

Alexa: “11,887 divided by 828 is 14.3562801932.”

Me: “So, to get to the height of a plane, you would need about 14 and a third of the tallest buildings.”

Sam: “A third? So 14 plus three more?”

Me: “No, a third is a piece of a whole. It’s . . okay, you would need 14 of the tallest buildings and one Shin Godzilla.”

Sam: “Okay.”

February 8, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on call me maybe

call me maybe

This morning I was teaching the last day of a three-day class when my phone rings.

“Whoops, sorry about that,” I apologize as I silence my ringer.

Thirty seconds later I see my phone flashing silently — it’s the same number, trying again. It’s a local number but I don’t recognize it, so I let it ring through.

Another minute later my phone is silently ringing again. Same number. Now I begin to think . . . what if my mother-in-law and the kids have been in a car accident, and a Good Samaritan has found my number in her phone, and they’re struggling to reach me, to tell me my kids are in an accident, but they’re okay, but you need to get here now. Now!

No. No no no. Take a breath. That’s too far-fetched. But why is this number so insistent?

It rings a fourth time, silently but urgently. I have the full attention of some 20 people, but my mind is racing about that phone call and what could be going on.

A fifth time. Okay, I’ve got to.

“Sorry, guys; this number has called me five times. I’ve got to see what’s up.”

The class waits silently as I answer, “Hello?”

“Is this Mrs Williams, Samuel’s mom?”

“Yes . . .”

“This is an appointment reminder for tomorrow with Dr. Mosis. Please arrive at 1:00 p.m. for your 1:30 p.m. appointment.”

“Okay. Will do.”

Well. Apparently Sam has an appointment with the most insistent doctor’s office in the state of Alabama.

January 18, 2018
by Carrie
Comments Off on kitchen complaints, episode nine

kitchen complaints, episode nine

For dinner tonight we were all sitting down to a lovely spread of pork tenderloin and rice, one of the few dinners the kids will actually eat for the most part. Sam still isn’t a fan of rice since the whole FPIES thing.

As Sam is thoughtfully chewing, it begins: “Mom, did you . . . Mom, do you . . . Mom, do you know of . . . Mom? Mom, do you know that bad word that starts with a ‘ck’ sound?”

Oh, is it going to be one of those conversations?

“It has a ‘ck’ in it?” I ask. “Umm, you mean like the word at the end of Spiderman?”

This is our household’s reference to the ever-adaptable f-word, which Aunt May almost says at the end of Spiderman: Homecoming and Sam absolutely had to know what it was she was about to say, so we told him on the condition that he will not use that word (yet). So far, he has kept to his promise.

“No, I don’t mean the f-word,” he continues, “It starts with a ‘ck.’ ”

Well, only one other word popped into my mind. “Uhh . . . well, does it rhyme with ‘runt’ ?”

While Sam retreated back into his mind to work that one out, Lydia, ever the helpful sister, loudly and proudly solved the puzzle for him.


It turned out the word he was thinking about was ‘crap.’

December 24, 2017
by Carrie
Comments Off on christmas eve update

christmas eve update

Sam is having an Arthur moment.


Times the cat has eaten the tree and barfed: 0! This count is just no fun without Renton.
Times the cat has launched off the tree skirt and irritated the stew out of Mom: 26
How many ornaments the kids have broken: 1
How many ornaments Mom has broken: 2
How many cookies Mom has made: 381. That’s an exact count.
How many years we’ve had our Christmas Tree: 14
How many branches have snapped off the Christmas Tree: 4 🙁