{"id":129,"date":"2004-08-23T10:09:50","date_gmt":"2004-08-23T14:09:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=129"},"modified":"2006-08-13T12:57:40","modified_gmt":"2006-08-13T17:57:40","slug":"100-hilarious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=129","title":{"rendered":"100% Hilarious"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why do I end up with the cats that have fiber issues? I’m sure we all remember Renton’s escapades with sweaters<\/a> and afghans<\/a>. Now it seems Hermione has some termite in her family tree.<\/p>\n

It started with the unfinished cat condo Steven and I built. Hermione’s first-pick spot is at the very tip-top. Renton would like the tip-top if his mountain lion bulk didn’t rock the boat so much. Did I mention Steven and I built this from scratch? If you saw it, you’d know.<\/p>\n

The tip-top had some sharp, exposed wooden corners once upon a time, but Hermione has successfully rounded those down with her little kitty molars. Maybe she was just tired of being poked in the butt by them? Whatever the case, we’ve made a few attempts at ceasing this crazy habit before we found ourselves up to our ears in sawdust.<\/p>\n

We tried to distract her with some rawhide doggy chews and kitty grass, but she didn’t go for that (Renton is the designated kitty lawnmower right now). What she did<\/i> go for was our wicker hamper and the corner of the entertainment center, even though it is just nasty old Wal-Mart plywood. I wonder if she would enjoy some hamster-type balsa wood blocks.<\/p>\n

In another attempt, we sprayed some of that No Kitty Bitter Apple Spray all over the corners. It wasn’t a little spray, either: we soaked ’em good. Apparently, though, Bitter Apple is Hermione’s favorite flavor. She snacked on those corners as soon as we were done hosing it down.<\/p>\n

There is one more trick up our sleeve, however. I read somewhere that you can use tobasco sauce to keep cats from chewing on everything. I would imagine that this would stain sweaters and quilts, but who cares about an old piece of wood, right?<\/p>\n

A quick search through the pantry revealed no tobasco sauce, but some rather potent mixture called 100% Pain<\/b> that we picked up in Charleston. The title is absolutely correct, too: I barely touched my finger in it once to have a taste — immediately after I was having a taste of a humongous glass of milk. They ain’t kiddin’.<\/p>\n

One might ask, are we really so evil that we’d apply that to something that Hermione is likely to chew on? Well, after last night’s romping escapades . . . you betcha!<\/p>\n

She hasn’t had a gnaw yet; her preferred gnawing time is late afternoon and evening. If it is extremely amusing once she does, I’ll come back with an update. If it doesn’t work, we’ll outfit the entire apartment with Rubbermaid furniture.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why do I end up with the cats that have fiber issues? I’m sure we all remember Renton’s escapades with sweaters and afghans. Now it seems Hermione has some termite in her family tree. It started with the unfinished cat condo Steven and I built. Hermione’s first-pick spot is at the very tip-top. Renton would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}