{"id":3063,"date":"2019-11-19T21:56:13","date_gmt":"2019-11-20T02:56:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=3063"},"modified":"2019-11-19T22:13:36","modified_gmt":"2019-11-20T03:13:36","slug":"the-tree-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=3063","title":{"rendered":"the tree, 2019"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I came to a realization this year as I threaded the lights onto the tree. My method is like a sewing machine. I wind the string of lights around my leg, up my back, over my shoulder to my left hand, then to my right. This keeps the tension how I like it. I&#8217;m an overachieving Christmas light-sewing maniac.<\/p>\n<p>This year . . . the amount of lights is nuts. This has gotta stop. I have got to find a way to do less. How do I do less?!<\/p>\n<p>And so, I present to you The Tree, 2019:<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/img_6118-6.jpg\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3068\" width=\"2906\" height=\"3875\" srcset=\"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/img_6118-6.jpg 2906w, https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/img_6118-6-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/img_6118-6-768x1024.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2906px) 100vw, 2906px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I am moving slowly, so the kids&#8217; trees aren&#8217;t yet set up.<\/p>\n<h3>Number of lights on the tree: 5,050.<\/h3>\n<p>(I wish I was kidding. I am not kidding.)<\/p>\n<p>Times cat has eaten the tree and barfed: 0<\/p>\n<p>Ornaments broken: 2<\/p>\n<p>Trips taken to Lowe&#8217;s to buy more lights: 2<\/p>\n<p>Amount of lights purchased: 800<\/p>\n<p>Percentage of lights that still worked from last year: 100%!<\/p>\n<p>Interventions threatened: 2<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I came to a realization this year as I threaded the lights onto the tree. My method is like a sewing machine. I wind the string of lights around my leg, up my back, over my shoulder to my left hand, then to my right. This keeps the tension how I like it. I&#8217;m an [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,11,5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3063"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3063"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3069,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3063\/revisions\/3069"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}