{"id":3080,"date":"2020-04-17T20:36:04","date_gmt":"2020-04-18T01:36:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=3080"},"modified":"2020-04-17T20:36:04","modified_gmt":"2020-04-18T01:36:04","slug":"over-his-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=3080","title":{"rendered":"over his head"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I am DONE with being the Tooth Fairy. Surprisingly exhausting, this Tooth Fairy gig. I destroyed Lydia’s innocence a while ago, and tonight it was time for Sam.<\/p>\n

He lost another tooth tonight (and by ‘lost’ I mean ‘I yanked it out of his mouth’), and it’s been a long Friday so I came up to him and said, “Hey Buddy, the Tooth Fairy is tired. Can she go ahead and pay you tonight?”<\/p>\n

Sam, confused, said, “Yeah?”<\/p>\n

So I dropped a folded up dollar bill into his hand.<\/p>\n

I wait for it to click.<\/p>\n

But instead . . .<\/p>\n

“Oh wow!” he exclaims, “Hopefully she can get some more gold coins soon!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I am DONE with being the Tooth Fairy. Surprisingly exhausting, this Tooth Fairy gig. I destroyed Lydia’s innocence a while ago, and tonight it was time for Sam. He lost another tooth tonight (and by ‘lost’ I mean ‘I yanked it out of his mouth’), and it’s been a long Friday so I came […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,17,5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3080"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3080"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3081,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3080\/revisions\/3081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}