{"id":322,"date":"2006-11-11T09:36:06","date_gmt":"2006-11-11T14:36:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=322"},"modified":"2006-11-11T09:36:06","modified_gmt":"2006-11-11T14:36:06","slug":"the-sunshine-burnt-my-pants-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=322","title":{"rendered":"the sunshine burnt my pants off"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Incredibly Awake Shower-Refreshed Steven<\/em>:  &#8220;Come on, wake up; time to get up!&#8221;  *commences with lighting of lamps and opening of blinds*<\/p>\n<p><em>Half-Awake Me<\/em>:  &#8220;Mnnnnph&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>Incredibly Awake Shower-Refreshed Steven<\/em>:  *more happy happy sunshine language*  &#8220;Let&#8217;s get up&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>Half-Awake Me<\/em>:  &#8220;No.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>Incredibly Awake Shower-Refreshed Steven<\/em>:  &#8220;If you don&#8217;t get up I&#8217;ll take your pants off.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>Half-Awake Me<\/em>:  &#8220;No, you won&#8217;t &#8217;cause you don&#8217;t have the <em><strong>BALLS<\/strong><\/em>.&#8221;  *evil, knowing glare*<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t think my pants have ever come off so fast.<\/p>\n<p>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Incredibly Awake Shower-Refreshed Steven: &#8220;Come on, wake up; time to get up!&#8221; *commences with lighting of lamps and opening of blinds* Half-Awake Me: &#8220;Mnnnnph&#8221; Incredibly Awake Shower-Refreshed Steven: *more happy happy sunshine language* &#8220;Let&#8217;s get up&#8221; Half-Awake Me: &#8220;No.&#8221; Incredibly Awake Shower-Refreshed Steven: &#8220;If you don&#8217;t get up I&#8217;ll take your pants off.&#8221; Half-Awake Me: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=322"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}