My birthday’s coming up and Steven and I happened upon my present randomly in the mall the other day.<\/p>\n
It’s totally awesome, though Lydia doesn’t like it much.<\/p>\n
I’ll let y’all muse on that a few days before I tell you what it is.<\/p>\n
____________________________<\/p>\n
Yesterday I was in the elevator in the Women’s section of Brookwood Hospital heading to my OB appointment. There are two guys with a little girl in the elevator with me when one of them notices a small puddle on the elevator floor.<\/p>\n
“I suppose that’s just water,” he muses.<\/p>\n
The other one replies, “In this<\/em> section of the hospital . . . I don’t know.”<\/p>\n Only the little girl didn’t laugh.<\/p>\n ____________________________<\/p>\n A few weeks ago Steven and I were about to head to Ken and Lisa’s to take them a piece of yard equipment — Ken calls it a hopper.<\/p>\n “Is this it?” Steen hollers, pulling it out of the garage. “I wasn’t quite sure what a hopper is.”<\/p>\n “Yeah, that’s it,” I reply. “I call it a seed spreader.”<\/p>\n “That’s funny,” said Steven. “That’s what I call my penis.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My birthday’s coming up and Steven and I happened upon my present randomly in the mall the other day. It’s totally awesome, though Lydia doesn’t like it much. I’ll let y’all muse on that a few days before I tell you what it is. ____________________________ Yesterday I was in the elevator in the Women’s section […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=385"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":440,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/385\/revisions\/440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}