{"id":606,"date":"2008-05-23T07:09:00","date_gmt":"2008-05-23T12:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=606"},"modified":"2011-07-24T20:50:30","modified_gmt":"2011-07-25T01:50:30","slug":"thats-so-stupid-id-never-do-that","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=606","title":{"rendered":"that’s so stupid; I’d never do that"},"content":{"rendered":"

Things I Said I’d Never do when I<\/span> was Pregnant (But Now I Do Them All The Time):<\/p>\n

1. Touch\/rub my belly all the time<\/p>\n

I always thought it was so silly to see pregnant women in movies always touching, rubbing, or otherwise bring notice to their very pregnant belly in movies — Big Fish comes to mind here. Both my sister and I agreed: real<\/span> pregnant women don’t do that. How stupid.<\/p>\n

Oh, my God — I do it all the time! Not even thinking about it, my hands go right to my stomach, rubbing it, massaging it, or just resting on it. I do it because my stomach is usually hurting or I just want to feel Lydia move because it’s neat.<\/p>\n

Either way, I was wrong, and I shall beg my forgiveness on the internet.<\/p>\n

2. Forget things<\/p>\n

I have an iron-clad memory for the important stuff. Not necessarily what hotel room number we stayed in at Gulf Shores in the summer of 1991 — I mean important things like YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT 2:30 TODAY. I never wrote that stuff down. That wasn’t going to go away.<\/p>\n

Ha ha ha.<\/p>\n

One of the many things I’ve forgotten is the other stuff I was going to put on this list that I thought of this morning. There was other stuff. I forgot it.<\/p>\n

Dammit.<\/p>\n

You think I’m trying to be funny but I am so serious. I had this all written out in my head BUT IT IS GONE.<\/p>\n

Ooh, I just thought of a new one but now I’m so irritated at myself I’m just not in the mood anymore. Poop.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Things I Said I’d Never do when I was Pregnant (But Now I Do Them All The Time): 1. Touch\/rub my belly all the time I always thought it was so silly to see pregnant women in movies always touching, rubbing, or otherwise bring notice to their very pregnant belly in movies — Big Fish […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=606"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":869,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/606\/revisions\/869"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}