{"id":997,"date":"2011-11-28T20:33:38","date_gmt":"2011-11-29T01:33:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=997"},"modified":"2017-06-26T20:44:47","modified_gmt":"2017-06-27T01:44:47","slug":"the-tree-2011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/?p=997","title":{"rendered":"the tree; 2011"},"content":{"rendered":"

I knew I would have a year like this. 2011 turned out to be the year.<\/p>\n

It took me three days to get all the lights on the tree.<\/p>\n

Apparently all the Lowe’s and Wal-Marts and Targets of the Birmingham area only saw fit to stock a few boxes of the plain old incandescent white non-flashy 100-count Christmas lights per store, and everyone bought those in, like, October. <\/p>\n

We got a box here, a box there, here a kid, there a kid, and finally I got what I thought would be the last few boxes at Michael’s, who still had lights in stock because, seriously, who buys Christmas lights at Michael’s? Alas, upon plugging in the last 100-count no-count Michael’s lights I found out why no one does: they didn’t light up!<\/p>\n

My dad came to the rescue last night, letting me dig through his Christmas light stash for one last glorious strand of lights to top off my creation, so now, finally, I can give you . . .<\/p>\n

The Tree of 2011<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Lights: 2600
\nTimes cat has eaten tree and barfed: 2
\nOrnaments children have broken: 0
\nPresents children have found: 1
\nPresents cats\/children have opened: 0<\/p>\n

Next year I’ll get smart and start buying the lights when the stores start stocking them. You know, in August.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I knew I would have a year like this. 2011 turned out to be the year. It took me three days to get all the lights on the tree. Apparently all the Lowe’s and Wal-Marts and Targets of the Birmingham area only saw fit to stock a few boxes of the plain old incandescent white […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/997"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=997"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/997\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2190,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/997\/revisions\/2190"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=997"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=997"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crunchythoughts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=997"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}