synonyms and sam’s first fib

Lydia and I were having a conversation about synonyms while her and Sam took a bath. “Let’s think of some other words for ‘funny,’ ” I suggested. “Let’s see, there’s ‘hilarious,’ ‘amusing,’ . . .” “And ‘bootie,’ Lydia chimed in. ____________________________________ “I need pumpkin! I need pumpkin!” Sam shouted repetitively this evening. Back to pumpkins […]

backseat conversations: wedding

Lydia: “Will you come to my wedding?” Me: “Yes, sweetie; of course I’ll be at your wedding.” Lydia: “No, I was talking to Sam. Hey Sam! Will you come to my and Nathan’s wedding?” Sam: “No.” Lydia, pouting: “Sam, I want you to come to my wedding!” Sam: “No!” Me: “Baby, he doesn’t know what […]

brony

A while ago Steven downloaded a My Little Pony app for Lydia to play on his iPad. When Lydia isn’t playing it, however, Steven usually is. He’s very proud of the little Pony town he’s cultivated. This morning Lydia was playing the Pony game while Steven hovered behind her. He watched her for a minute, […]

bottomless pit, part two

On Monday, Sam ate: two pancakes, seven tortilla chips, one bowl of macaroni and cheese, one baby back rib, three spoonfuls of baked beans, one orange slice, one slice of dried pineapple, five chicken nuggets, sixteen pieces of watermelon, and three animal crackers. That night he let out a huge belch. The End.

play dough fun factory

These gems of Lydia’s were told to me by her daycare teacher. I laughed so hard I snorted when I heard them. Lydia, after pooping on the potty at school: “That was amazing!” She had another poop later that day. That time she squealed, “Oooooh, poopsnakes!”