Lydia looks up from a room completely filled with train tracks of all sorts to ask, “Can we go outside?” “Sure, once y’all pick up all these train tracks,” I reply. Lydia surveys the damage. “Can we go outside, then pick up the train tracks?” “No, because y’all promised me you would pick up these […]
Category Archives: quote
kitchen complaints, episode two
**in which my daughter perfects the art of backhanded compliments** After we sit down to dinner, Lydia points at her applesauce, crasins, and salad. “Mommy, I like this, this, and this. I am pleased with this.” She looks back up at me and beams. “This is the first time you’ve pleased me!”
kitchen complaints, episode one
I serve the kids some Sunkist with dinner in order to score a few Awesome Mom Points. “What is this orange stuff? What do you call this orange drink?” *takes a sip* “Yuck.”
a gift
As Sam is playing in the grass, he comes up to me with a torn bit of leaf in his hands. He hands it to me and says, “Here Mom, I got you a flower.” “Thank you, Sam. You’re a very sweet boy.” “No, I’m Mom.”
curses
Last night we attempted to force some culture on Lydia by watching Ghostbusters. Our conversations throughout the movie went something like this: Steven, referring to a bit of dialogue: “Lydia, don’t say that.” Me: “And don’t say that.” Steven: “And don’t ever say that.” Me: “Don’t use that word.” Steven and Me, together: “And don’t […]
sam is good with faces
The other day I was in the kitchen working on the kids’ lunch while they ran amok in the living room. “Who’s that?” asked Lydia, looking out the window. I abandoned their atrocious hotdogs to come look out the window. “That’s the mail lady,” I replied, then retreated back into the kitchen for more hotdog […]
yes man
Steven: “Did you wash your hands with soap?” Sam: “Yes.” Steven: “Are you lying?” Sam: “Yes.” Steven: “Well, at least you’re honest.” Me: He just answers ‘yes’ to everything.” Steven: “Sam, are you a girl?” Sam: “No! I Daniel!”
sharp
For the last week, I have been debating on whether I should buy the digital edition of Frozen when it came out this week or hold off another month for the physical DVD. I caved this morning and went for the digital version — the movie is just so cute. Both kids already have the […]
linguistics class
I have come to the conclusion that childhood phonics curricula and Southern accents do not mesh well. Over the course of the past year, Lydia and I have run into multiple anomalies with sounding out words versus the word as we know it. Already we have run across the pin/pen merger, feel vs. fill, and […]
would anybody like a peanut?
Sam came running up to me, crying and holding his crotch. Sam: “Wahhhhh! Lydia kicked my bootie!” Me: “That’s not your bootie, Sam, that’s your penis.” Sam: “I want some peanuts.”