spaceshit

“Sam, come get your shit out of my room!” I hear Lydia scream across the house. Sam mumbles incoherently, so Lydia yells again, “Sam! I said to come and get your shit!” What?! Surely I am mishearing her. I quickly hop up and look down the hall. “What’d you say, Lydia?” Lydia stomps her feet […]

kitchen complaints, episode six

Sam: “I’m still hungry!” Pause for effect. Sam: “I’m still hungry!” He still gets no reaction. Sam: “I would like some more veggie sticks.” Me: “Please?” Sam: “I would like some more veggie sticks, please.” Me: “Okay, I’ll give you a few.” Lydia: “You mean several. You will give him several veggie sticks, because a […]

the tree + one, 2015

And now, ladies and gentlemen . . . The Tree, 2015. Once again, the smaller tree is Lydia’s responsibility. Total lights on the tree: 2,930; a new record! Times the cat has eaten the tree and barfed: 0! Times I’ve yelled at the cat when he launched off the tree skirt: 50 Ornaments children have […]

sleep stories

Sam is beginning to realize he has dreams at night, so he’s usually looking forward to tell me about them in the morning. He hasn’t picked up on the word ‘dream,’ though; he calls them Sleep Stories. Man, he can be so damnably cute! A few mornings ago he walks into the kitchen after waking […]

words of comfort

Earlier this month my very old and trusty Panasonic pencil sharpener honed its last pencil. I had to order a new sharpener, which came in the other day. This Monday is the first day we’ve put it through its paces. Sadly, this sharpener isn’t up to snuff compared to my old Panasonic. “Man, this sharpener […]