I have the best idea for a television show, y’all. It’s a show full of drama and angst — you’ll feverishly await the next episode to see what happens next! It’d be a show set up like a soap opera, complete with cheesy music and awkward turns toward the camera . . . only with four-year-olds instead. A soap opera is exactly what it is like out there on that playground, at least to hear Lydia tell it.
“How was your day,” I ask Lydia each afternoon when I pick her up. She gives me the rundown of the day, channeling my mother summing up the days’ Young and the Restless.
“Abby didn’t want to be my friend,” she begins, “but Arya is my BEST friend. I had the small bike. And I didn’t throw sand.” This is completely different from the previous day, when she was whining that Arya wasn’t her friend but Abby was.
I used to get a run-down of who got in trouble, but that has stopped now that the person getting in trouble is usually her. “I was on ‘RED’ today, Mom. Do I get any M&Ms? Nevermind, I don’t want any M&Ms.” Ha, that’s a load of malarkey, I know she’s super peeved about the M&Ms.
Another time after the ‘how was your day’ question, Lydia looks straight at me and, without cracking a smile, says, “I got killed today.”
“Oh, did you?”
“Yeah. I was a princess.”
“How did you die?”
“With a gun.” Dramatic pause. “Me and Abby and Arya was a princess and Nathan was a soldier and he killed us.” Dang, chivalry is dead, y’all.
Yesterday, Lydia informed me she is getting married. She changed her choice on groom a few times — it’s either Ryan or Colin — but the date is set for today. A co-worker told me I should ask when she’s moving out and where I should send all her stuff.