Five years ago, I was dreading a chemistry final. Only a few days left of my freshmen year of college, and I was looking forward to the chemistry-free summer. I wouldn’t have thought it that morning, but by the evening I would be someone’s girlfriend again.
Oh, to go visit that Carrie of five years ago. She probably wouldn’t know me from Madam’s housecat at first. And what would I say to this nutter who has no idea what’s in store for her?
Perhaps I’d start with, “Oh boogers, the next five years are gonna be the best of your life.”
She’s retort with something like, “Dude, you can’t be me. You’re skinny and wearing too much makeup. Crazy butt.”
Then I’d have to prove my identity by naming off old passwords, embarrassing stories, and that time when Tracy Bohannon got out the w–
BAM!
Old Carrie then would hit Future Carrie over the head with one of those Big Bertha cement blocks and go stuff her down in the basement of the dorm where the chapter room was, thus changing the best five years of her life to the last five years. She would then nonchalantly sit in front of the computer, where Steven will sign on AIM later.
Wow, that meeting did not go well at all. Remind me never, ever to step foot inside a time machine. My past self is vicious.
Happy anniversary, Steven! I think you’ll be able to remember our wedding anniversary better than this one.