Usually when first exposed to all the heavy weights and buff bodies at a fitness center, one ends up heading home feeling out of shape and unattractive. During my first two weeks attending a fitness center, however, I have come home feeling incredibly short.
I’ve gotten a good routine started at the gym. First, my husband and I spend some time on the treadmills. These nifty machines have their own individual media centers where you can watch television, listen to music, or pop in a DVD — this is courtesy of our friend Willis, but that is another story. I had noticed that I couldn’t see the television very well because the ceiling lights were being reflected back at me. Yesterday, I asked Steven if he was having the same problem.
“No, I only see the lights at the very top of the screen,” he replied, “I can see it fine.”
Ohh, so it’s just me, then. I am way down here while the screen is way up there. Maybe I should ask Willis to incorporate a tilt feature into those screens.
After treadmilling through the reflections, we go over to all the weight machines. These are the kinds of machines that Soloflex® claims to do all at once plus be a clothes hanger. On these weight machines there are a plethora of settings for height differences. You would think it would be hard to figure out what would be the best selection, but not for me. On every machine I have to use the settings for the smallest and shortest the machine can go — and even then some of them are still a bit large.
“You are too short,” the machine thinks at me.
I am only one inch shorter than the average woman! Do the fitness center machine moguls think that only men and Amazon women use their machines? Why must my 5′ 3″* frame be continually insulted?
When I am queen, I shall have custom fitness machines made to fit my height. They will make me feel very tall and I will be the happier for it. Better yet, my Shorty Machines™? will be in my own home so they will also double as clothes hangers.
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*on a good day