As most everyone who reads this site knows, we did lose my mom this past Sunday. The past few days have really been a blur. Apologies in advance for droning on about sad things; I promise I will be back to writing tales of tear-inducing laughter in no time.
I did want to post here something I wrote for Mom’s funeral. It was read during the service though not by me. I’m not a good orator.
After the service, the funeral director was manhandling the flowers into the flower arrangement-toting mobile and managed to create a floral domino effect with one stand of flowers knocking down the others until a floor lamp became the ultimate casualty, keeling over and smashing into smithereens. I could hear Mom giggling.
Of course, I kept a piece of the lamp. My sister and I have fond memories of that lamp, actually.
_______________________________
This is not how it was supposed to be. None of us are supposed to be here today. My mother should be on the phone with her Peeps making plans for where they will be going for their Thursday lunch. All of this is a very hard thing to grasp.
I would need a lifetime to even begin to sum up what my mother is to me. How do you convey such a love in just words? I don’t know how to accomplish such a feat. What can you say about the woman who bore you and your sister, raised you both along with a loving father, and was always just a phone call away with the right words at the ever-ready?
I have found myself during these past few days’ events beginning to reach for that very phone and ring her up. She would know what to do. She would definitely tell me if the shoes I am contemplating are hideous. We have had half a lifetime of conversations together but the other half have been left unsaid.
I will be able to reconcile with all that has come to pass, but today . . . today all I can feel is a profound sadness that her two granddaughters will never get to know their Nana. However, I find joy beyond measure that she herself did get to know and love them. They are my mother’s treasures.
