Boo!

I’m back! Boo! And to start off, I give you a rant . . .

Cocky?! Best mascot of the year?! WTF! Crock-a-doo-doo. That bugger of a bird cheated, we all saw it. The last week of voting, his numbers shot way way up, getting 98% of the vote all of a sudden. Nuh-uh, that’s not nice. He ended up third in the online part anyway, which counts for only 50%. So supposedly this bird had to have been voted number one by the judges big-time to counter-act that third place finish with the people’s choice section. But it’s just some goofy looking bird that grabs it’s beak and twists it for the crowd’s amusement. Stupid bird. Aubie absolutely RULES, and his true fans know it. Stupid CapitolOne Bowl.

________________________

Okay, no more rant. I guess now it’s time for my official take on the last couple of weeks, seeing as how Steven and I finally got married and all. Hmm, where do we start? I guess with the Wednesday that I left Fort Payne. Normally this wouldn’t be anything to hoot about, except that all of a sudden, I wasn’t feeling good that afternoon. As the afternoon wore on, and the sinus shit got worse and worse, I began to chant the F word in my head. Repeatedly. Leave it to me to get a sinus infection on my wedding. Go me, I am the High Priestess of Getting Sick At Events.

Next day was Auburn day to celebrate my sister’s graduating from college. We ate out at Provino’s that night with Jason’s family. All of us irresponsible children embarrassed everybody with bad jokes about salty garlic balls and dingleberries. Fantastic night. Blew my nose a lot. Ate a lot of M & M’s, too.

Friday was graduation day. We all met up at Samford Hall, which is THE place to get your picture taken in your cap and gown. We took pictures of Cathy in her cap and gown, of course. Steven and I ran by Tiger Rags to pick up a ceramic tiger with it’s butt in the air for Willis, then headed to the coliseum for graduation. I got some great pictures of a japanese maple in fall color on the way.

Graduation was long, of course. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the horrible bits of wood that Auburn calls seats. Oh my aching ass. On the plus side, Dr. Thornburg, my dentist, called me in some drugs for the nose. He was my God of the Weekend.

After Cathy and the other 1,200 people were declared Done With College, we quickly headed toward Columbiana for the Rehearsal Dinner Sans Rehearsal. I got some good sunset pictures while driving on Wire Road, and Steven and I practiced our vows. I think I slept a bit as well.

In Columbiana, we went by my aunt and uncle’s house first to freshen up and change, then off to Bernie’s (formerly Bernie and Charlie’s . . . we don’t know what happened to Charlie). On the way, I saw Santa on the front porch, and he waved at me! What a nice Country Santa.

The dinner was very nice. All our people were there, the food was good, and the walls looked really cool. I’ve got a picture of it somewhere. Come to think if it, I’ve got a picture of everything somewhere. After the dinner, t’was time for bed.

Thanks to the cocktail of drugs, I slept quite well. We didn’t have to be anywhere until ten, so that was nice and non-stressful. I don’t remember too much of that morning, but that’s probably because not much of it is very interesting. I do remember being pretty calm and laid-back. Or maybe that’s just my take on it. We had to be at the Manor at four p.m. The first person I saw was Willis, on his cell phone. Then I saw Steven and the rest of the guys, and Caitlin and Holly were there, and my aunt and uncle, too.

We rehearsed first. It was pretty quick, it was also loud because the heaters were on. More about the heaters later. I met the photographer, talked to some other people, then we all went to get ready, which really didn’t take that long.

Steven and I decided that we were going to do pictures before the wedding, which is a bit of a faux pas, but it is so much better. To make a bit more of the moment, our photographer arranged it so that once I was ready, I’d be positioned all nice and pretty in the bride’s room, and Steven would come, knock on the door, I’d say, “Come in,” and he’d come in, see me, *snap* goes the photographers, then they’d give us a minute to take in the moment and exchange gifts. It worked out pretty well. I remember when Steven came in, he saw me and made this endearing, slightly comical groan sound. I think I said hi. Don’t remember. For his gift, I got him a nifty, wood-carved kaleidoscope (the kind that you look through and there’s colors), and he got me a Swarkivsokoi (HOW do you spell it?) crystal figure of a dozen rose-colored tulips. Then off to take numerous pictures.

Mostly what I remember about the pictures is a lot of our guests arrived early, so they were milling about. It didn’t bother me much, but I think our parents didn’t like it. Then we headed back upstairs to let everybody settle in so the shin-dig could start. Steven and I were talking when all of a sudden we heard the music and recognized it as the Sibelius piece. Whoops, time to go downstairs.

Second funniest moment of the wedding: I was waiting to go out with my bridesmaids and groomsmen, and I hear Willis whisper, “Carrie . . . Carrie . . .” I look at him and say, “What?” and he goes, “Carrie . . . I’m nervous,” in his most Willis-like voice. It was all I could do to not totally bust out laughing. Ahhhh hahahahahahaha!

The ceremony itself comes and goes in bursts of my memory. I remember the tent had a very yellow glow to it, I was thinking, “Don’t fall down, don’t fall down,” then, due to miscommunication with my Uncle, everybody stood up when I came down the isle, despite the note in the program that read, “Please stay seated.” “They stood up,” I whispered to my dad. Then I was up there, there was some talking, then I got to hold Steven’s hands. More talking, I don’t remember much of what was said. It was good, though. Steven and I said our vows to each other. We had worked hard to memorize them, and amazingly enough, we remembered them. I flip-flopped some of mine, though. Oops. More talking, then “Now you may kiss the bride.” “Oh yeah,” I thought. Later, Steven told me he had the same thought. We kissed, and there was some chuckling. We wondered why, and later Steven’s mom said it was because it was “a sweet kiss,” but I still wonder if we did something stupid. Then “husband and wife,” yay, walk back down the isle, don’t fall down, photographer asks us to stop and kiss, we do, more walking, make it to the door, here to the cake to cut it before the people come in.

It was only then how much I realized Steven was shaking. He was all grins, though. We both probably looked pretty silly. We cut the cake, drank some milk in pewter goblets (that was the best milk), and we cut the groom’s cake as well. Then upstairs to where there was a bit of food for us so we’d be able to get in some bites. Best stuffed mushrooms ever, but I could barely eat. Back down to talk with all the people. Lot of talking, lot of hugging, lot of laughing with our friends. Willis gave us pens and pencils (yes!), and Rhapsody in Blue was blasting. Before I know it they’re telling us we need to throw the bouquet and stuff cause it’s time to leave. But I just got here!

I was bound and determined to get that bouquet to Cathy. At first I was going to do what Mom did, and just throw it to her face forward, so I could aim. The photographer suggested I just fake throw it then turn around and hand it to her, and I said, “Great!” So that’s what I did. Sorry girls, I’m weird.

Funniest moment of the wedding: I didn’t have a garter belt, so I suggested to Steven to throw his boutenniere (sp?) for the guys. Ken made a comment about he better throw it or he’ll kick his ass. So Steven threw it, all the guys jumped up and sailed toward it, and next thing I know, Jason is in front of everybody, everybody’s falling, WHAM! At least four people are down on the floor, then Jason emerges victorious. I laughed as hard as my dress would allow. Poor little Taylor was at the bottom of that pile, but I saw him walking later, so I think he’s okay. I cannot wait to see that picture.

Then time to go, we run out and everyone throws rose petals at us as we head toward the car. I remember getting a rose petal out from my bosom, hahahah. In the car, off we go, dress everywhere.

_______________________

I’ll leave y’all with that for right now. Tomorrow: Charleston. (I still think it looks better as ‘Charlestown.’)