Of Mice and Vermin

I realized something this morning: I left Renton’s favorite yellow mouse fetch toy at his Daddy’s this weekend.

Oh, agony, agony! How could I have been so careless? It would be one thing to forget some balls, his cat condo, or yes, even his Otter. Actually, I’m sure the Otter would enjoy the break from constant molestation. But you can’t leave the favorite yellow mouse fetch toy! What else is there for him to go crazy over, careening though the house with that banana-like mouse clutched in his teeth? How else can I wear him out right before it’s time to go to bed? What in the world did we do before Renton got that thing in his Christmas stocking?

This week was going to be a long week . . . until I went to Wal-Mart this afternoon.

Yes, today I bow down to the idol that is WallyWorld, for they had twenty of those little yellow mousies lining the shelves of the cat toy section. Brand new toys, sparkling clean, fresh, and ready to go. They even had their tails attached. I point this out because Renton’s poor mouse had the appearance of being run through Renton’s own personal kitty Enron shredder and hole puncher deluxe. I had already re-stitched it once.

I bought two packages of the suckers. One for now, one for later, and hopefully by the time Renton shreds through those, I’ll have enough money saved up to buy every goofy yellow Wal-Mart mouse I can find.

Best $1.76 I’ve ever spent.

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Speaking of mice, I believe quite a few of them had a party on my office desk while I was away at Auburn. They forgot to clean up their mess, those party-reveling fools. Nothing wakes your ass up better on a Monday than the sight of rodent shit trailing around your office.

Not to worry, though. I do believe that they will be caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

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And finally, after a week of aggravation and despair, the company website is back online. Huzzah! goes the webmaster. I was also asked if I would be interested in doing some contract work in web design for other clients of our new hosting server. Huzzah! goes the webmaster again. Lord knows I’ve got the time, or else I wouldn’t be writing on this thing as much as I do. I don’t know if anything will ever come of it, but I surely appreciate just the compliment and confidence in my work, especially since I haven’t the slightest idea what I’m doing. Ha ha ha, I could have a website design company called WTF, Ltd. Motto: “When you see our designs, you say, ‘WTF!’ ” Yesssss, the marketing capabilities are endless . . .