Yes, I am back once again, on a Tuesday no doubt. As it was pointed out to me earlier this week that I tend to do my postings on Tuesdays, I wanted to avoid this predictable occurence, but alas. I meant to write yesterday, but the broccoli thought otherwise.
Last weekend, I was helping Steven go though his huge batch of mail that he receives every month and a half or so. Apparently mail is not a daily thing in the little of corner of Auburn in which he abides, but that is another matter. He had some junk mail, a check (a check!!!), various offers from BellSouth to please oh please come back, a card from me (that I sent the second week of January), and what looked to be an invitation-greetinglike card, all done up in a translucent envelope. You know, that new style of paper that is oh so 21st century.
Y’all know BellSouth, right? Oh come on, sure you do. If you’re from around here anyway. We had the privledge of seeing their big building up in Nashville. It sure scared the boogers outta me. I did get a picture, though. Wanna see it? Sure ya do.
Ready?
Ohhh, you’re gonna love it . . .
Here it comes . . .
Mordor was inspired by Nashville; just had to be. So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, BellSouth mail stuff. Soon after last Christmas, Steven and I decided that paying for two phone lines along with two high-speed DSL connections was just a bit more money than we wanted to fork over to BellSouth, so we cancelled the service for the Auburn apartment. Ever since, they have seemed awful desperate to get their 95 dollars a month back. Uh huh.
Okay, back to the invitation-greetinglike card.
I open it up and begin to read.
“Okay, we admit it, we let the romance slip away . . . ” And I am thinking, “Umm, this isn’t the card I sent him . . . ”
“Maybe we didn’t say ‘we care’ as much as we should have . . . ” Now I’m thinking, “Maybe they got the wrong ‘Steven’ ”
“Maybe you were right about everything . . .” I’m starting to think, “Steven, do you need to tell me something?”
“Please come back; we promise to be really, really good to you from now on . . .” My thoughts digress to, “What?!”
“. . .starting with a phone plan you’re gonna love!”
Huh?
“Come back to BellSouth for local service and enjoy extra flexibility with the BellSouth Complete choice Plan . . .”
What a card! Literally! Well I began laughing so hard I almost fell to the ground (which is not all that unusual for me). “Maybe we didn’t say ‘we care’ as much as we should have”? Too right. Well, at least they did say “Thank you” in small lettering under the ‘amount paid’ section of the bill. Sending out cards like this makes me worry for their sanity more than anything.
Still, you gotta admit it’s a good marketing campaign. It certainly got my attention and emblazoned their name into my brain.
However, I’m still not giving them 95 clams a month.