I knew I would have a year like this. 2011 turned out to be the year.
It took me three days to get all the lights on the tree.
Apparently all the Lowe’s and Wal-Marts and Targets of the Birmingham area only saw fit to stock a few boxes of the plain old incandescent white non-flashy 100-count Christmas lights per store, and everyone bought those in, like, October.
We got a box here, a box there, here a kid, there a kid, and finally I got what I thought would be the last few boxes at Michael’s, who still had lights in stock because, seriously, who buys Christmas lights at Michael’s? Alas, upon plugging in the last 100-count no-count Michael’s lights I found out why no one does: they didn’t light up!
My dad came to the rescue last night, letting me dig through his Christmas light stash for one last glorious strand of lights to top off my creation, so now, finally, I can give you . . .
The Tree of 2011
Lights: 2600
Times cat has eaten tree and barfed: 2
Ornaments children have broken: 0
Presents children have found: 1
Presents cats/children have opened: 0
Next year I’ll get smart and start buying the lights when the stores start stocking them. You know, in August.