what Renton did

Earlier this evening I think I got a few people curious by tweeting that Renton did the nastiest thing ever. So nasty, in fact, that I wasn’t sure if I could write about it . . .

Well, I’m over that, so if you still DON’T want to know, then read no further. Seriously.

Early this morning Renton birthed one of his small children after much strain and consternation. We rejoiced since each small child means no vet trip. Unfortunately all the strain got to him and he barfed in the basement. Hey, at least it was in the basement this time!

So before I got Lydia up for school I ambitiously went downstairs to take care of the barf, lest Lydia be amused by it. Being pregnant did not help that endeavor and I quickly tossed the messy paper towels into a little trash can near the litter box and hightailed it back upstairs. Eww eww eww.

This afternoon I arrived home with a very thirsty Lydia, who had been chanting, “Juice. Juice. Juice,” all the way home. As we rounded the corner to head up the basement steps, I see that the little trash can is knocked over. “Odd,” I think, “maybe Steven accidentally knocked it over.”

But the messy paper towels are missing, save a small little piece . . . and I used a LOT of paper towels this morning to clean up all that barf.

Do you see where this is going?? Oh yes.

Apparently Renton was feeling quite peckish after clearing his system earlier, and really I’m quite thankful he was all cleared out and ready to go, because that fool cat ate FIVE PAPER TOWELS. I hope he enjoyed them.

I know that they have already gone all the way through his system because as Lydia and I began to go up the stairs, we were met with the sight of his, err, leavings there on the landing. Pure paper towels, all balled up into the form of little small children, just how his body likes to make them.

Not only did those paper towels go all the way through him, they did it in less than 12 hours.

This is the point where Lydia and I both started screaming, “Ewwwww!”

This evening, Renton has been in the best mood I have seen him in years. He has been thoroughly cleansed this Holy Week. I just wish the sight could be cleansed from my memory.