I have an apology to make. It’s quite shocking, but I feel that once it’s out in the open, it will be better for all of us in the long run. Okay, deep breath, here we go . . . wait for it. . .
It’s Steven’s and my fault that Auburn lost to LSU on Saturday.
Yes, yes, I confess, we are to blame! I feel so ashamed. We didn’t mean for it to happen, honest. We would never want our Auburn to lose, yet it is our fault for the 40-something to 7 fiasco.
What did we do, exactly? I remembered to wear my Aubie pin, but Steven forgot to wear his orange gameday shirt. Ohhh, the shame; I feel so guilty. Steven’s worn his shirt every game this season (to the best of my knowledge), and since the first two game horrors, I’ve worn my Aubie pin. But on this crucial gameday, our minds apparently wandered, most likely because we were drawn into the Pillowfight Grudge Match that was Alabama versus Tennessee. We forsaked our team for five overtimes and a green shirt. We’re both going to Auburn Hell (otherwise known as Tuscaloosa).
Because of our actions, Steven and I both apologize profusely for our behavior last Saturday, and for causing all Auburn Tiger fans so much grief and shock. Believe us when we say we are truly sorry. We would also like to send our apologies and condolences to Tommy Tuberville, the whole football team and staff, and the guy that sent out all those postcards promoting Cadillac for Heisman. Sorry for the wasted postage.
Please forgive us. We’ll do better next week.