Auburn University has the coolest mascot ever. I just got done giving three of my four daily votes for Aubie at CapitolOne Bowl’s website. They do a yearly mascot contest, and this year, Aubie is in it. It only let’s you vote once a day; somehow it KNOWS, and the only way we’ve found of getting around that is using more than one browser. At work, I’ve got ye olde Internet Explorer, Mozilla, and Opera (personally, I’m starting to think that Opera is the best of the three. . . Mozilla’s the worst). At home I haven’t had a chance to download Mozilla and Opera. Maybe I’ll do that tonight while I prepare my computer for the brainwashing this weekend.
But anyway, back to Aubie. He’s just so. . . cool. And not just cool as in ‘hey, look at the color of this booger’ cool, I mean cool as in Samuel L. Jackson cool. BMF, man. But as cool as he is, he’s nice, too. You see too many creepy mascots with a permanent scowl on their face, like they’d rather eat that kid up than have a picture taken with it while the parents smile and clap. Hairy Dawg and that ill-formed Razorback (alas, I know not the name) comes to mind. Aubie kicks their polyester butts big-time. He can ride a bike, he’s certainly not afraid to roll around in the mud during a rainy game, he can conduct the band, he walks with a swagger while swinging his tail, and he’s got fingers, unlike the majority of college football mascots. Even Big Al, who is admittedly nicer than most mascots, can’t claim fingers.
Once, Steven asked me if Aubie came up to me and proposed, right then and there, would I leave him for the furry tiger. I told him that it’s not fair to ask me such a question. I don’t want to have to choose between the love of my life and Steven, uhh, Aubie. I don’t care for those kinds of choices. Hmm, now what about Steven . . . in an Aubie costume? There’s an idea . . .
One might think I’m crazy, babbling on about college mascots, and why ours is the absolute shiznit. I’m not quite sure myself. Maybe it’s because I’m easily amused, and Aubie definitely amuses me easily by the amusement he finds in others . . . easily. I think it also comes from me being in Auburn’s band for three years, and the band loves Aubie just as much as Aubie loves the band. We’d get to hang out with him a lot on the sidelines while pulling out our stuff, pulling in our stuff, waiting to get into the stands, waiting to get out of the stands, waiting to do the pre-game banner, and so on and so forth. Somewhere there’s a picture of me and Aubie, but it wasn’t taken with my camera, and I never got the picture. How sad.
My mom and I talked to a lady once at an invitation shop in Homewood. She was telling us about how her son got to be Aubie back in the late 80’s; being Aubie was this kid’s goal, the sole reason why he went to Auburn. What a fantastic calling! This lady told us a story of some friends or relatives (I forget which) of her son’s were getting married, and Aubie showed up at the wedding! I bet Aubie looks positively smashing in a hat and tails, though I’m not sure if that’s what he wore. Too bad I don’t know anybody that is Aubie. My rooommate was going to try out in college, but she forgot to attend the meetings.
Now that you know why Aubie is so cool, why don’t you go vote for him? He is da pimp. Literally. He pimps himself out for events! Yeah, Aubie! You da tiger!
Don’t forget now . . . vote for Aubie. Daily. With every internet browser you can find.