that’s so stupid; I’d never do that

Things I Said I’d Never do when I was Pregnant (But Now I Do Them All The Time):

1. Touch/rub my belly all the time

I always thought it was so silly to see pregnant women in movies always touching, rubbing, or otherwise bring notice to their very pregnant belly in movies — Big Fish comes to mind here. Both my sister and I agreed: real pregnant women don’t do that. How stupid.

Oh, my God — I do it all the time! Not even thinking about it, my hands go right to my stomach, rubbing it, massaging it, or just resting on it. I do it because my stomach is usually hurting or I just want to feel Lydia move because it’s neat.

Either way, I was wrong, and I shall beg my forgiveness on the internet.

2. Forget things

I have an iron-clad memory for the important stuff. Not necessarily what hotel room number we stayed in at Gulf Shores in the summer of 1991 — I mean important things like YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT 2:30 TODAY. I never wrote that stuff down. That wasn’t going to go away.

Ha ha ha.

One of the many things I’ve forgotten is the other stuff I was going to put on this list that I thought of this morning. There was other stuff. I forgot it.

Dammit.

You think I’m trying to be funny but I am so serious. I had this all written out in my head BUT IT IS GONE.

Ooh, I just thought of a new one but now I’m so irritated at myself I’m just not in the mood anymore. Poop.

looking at him makes you tired

When I’m getting ready for work in the mornings, Renton is very good at making me feel guilty about leaving. All he has to do is lounge in the bed like this:

It makes it very hard to get ready for work in the mornings. His eyes are usually half-shut, too, but I didn’t sneak up on him that well.

My first words in the morning are always some form of “turd” because he will always leap up onto the bed right after I vacate it so he can sop up the remaining bits of warmth I’ve left in my slumber. He is such a turd.

I think he senses there is a change coming to the household — he has gotten very needy lately. That’s saying something, too, because he was needy in the first place. When I get home from work he is all “MEOW MEOW MEOW!!!” and absolutely grinding his head into my toenails. I don’t see how he doesn’t gouge out an eye. He senses the coming of Lydia.

Hermione, however, seems oblivious. She thinks the pretty room filled with stuff is for her, I imagine. She’s in for a surprise.

look at all the things!

I had my shower this weekend, and it was absolutely the awesome. I’ll post some pictures once I get them up.

Tell you what, though. This girl will not want for clothes for quite some time. She is set! I’ve been working on organizing through them, starting with removing the tags and washing them all so we don’t run into the problem of “Has this been washed yet??” when she needs a change of clothes.

Man, if I ever see one of these things again . . .

. . . I will cry. I hate them. Carter’s gets especially tag-happy. There’s got to be a better way to attach tags to clothes.

please wait six to eight weeks for delivery

Ever since I hit the 30 week mark, I’ve been more in a countdown mode: 10 weeks to go, 9 weeks, 8 . . . It’s like counting down for the space shuttle. Right now I’m at 7.5. It’s a slow countdown.

I’m feeling pretty big now. For the longest time I really wasn’t gaining much weight, but then the Hungry As A Bear stage hit and BAM! I gained 11 pounds in five weeks. I know I’m pregnant and all, but that’s still a hard blow to the morale. All that weight better be on her.

Lydia moves around a lot, especially at night. At night she likes to see how sore she can make her mommy’s tummy. I’ve also been having those Braxton-Hicks contractions, but other than that, I feel pretty good. No heartburn, nothing is swelling up, so I don’t have many comp laints except I want her to hurry up and get here — or at least I wish June would hurry up.

Ooh, I gotta go pee again.

saved-up quotes

My birthday’s coming up and Steven and I happened upon my present randomly in the mall the other day.

It’s totally awesome, though Lydia doesn’t like it much.

I’ll let y’all muse on that a few days before I tell you what it is.

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Yesterday I was in the elevator in the Women’s section of Brookwood Hospital heading to my OB appointment. There are two guys with a little girl in the elevator with me when one of them notices a small puddle on the elevator floor.

“I suppose that’s just water,” he muses.

The other one replies, “In this section of the hospital . . . I don’t know.”

Only the little girl didn’t laugh.

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A few weeks ago Steven and I were about to head to Ken and Lisa’s to take them a piece of yard equipment — Ken calls it a hopper.

“Is this it?” Steen hollers, pulling it out of the garage. “I wasn’t quite sure what a hopper is.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” I reply. “I call it a seed spreader.”

“That’s funny,” said Steven. “That’s what I call my penis.”