what did you get for Christmas?

I got . . .

Happy Magic Muppet Gloves! Happy Magic Muppet Gloves! Happy Magic Muppet Gloves! Happy Magic Muppet Gloves!Whe’ya’at? Whe’ya’at? Whe’ya’at? Whe’ya’at?
Dey’ya’go! Dey’ya’go! Dey’ya’go! Dey’ya’go!

Happy Magic Muppet; Happy Magic Muppet; Happy Magic Muppet with a baseball bat!
Happy Magic Muppet; Happy Magic Muppet; Happy Magic Muppet with a baseball bat!

Fossie!

pffht

For those of you who know Hermione, you know that odd ‘pffht’ sound she makes when she gets rambunctious. Well, I actually suceeded in capturing that moment on film . . . err, CCD. Whatever.

Anyway, may I present to you . . . Pffht!Hermione.

Renton is scared — are you?

stamped and delivered

I am a bit behind on sending out my Christmas cards this year. I wrote them up last night and went to the post office this morning to pick up some holiday stamps and send them off.

As I was waiting in line to purchase some stamps, there was a display showing all of the different holiday stamps that were available. There were stamps for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and Ramadan, with many different designs and colors. I liked the blue ones.

When it’s my turn, I go up to the counter. “I’d like to buy some stamps.”

“Holiday stamps or non-holiday?” the mail lady asks.

“Holiday.”

So she pulls out the two designs for Christmas: some goofy cartoonish designs and a Virgin Mary with Jesus. I liked the Virgin Mary ones but I didn’t want to get them because I used those last year. They also would have grossly overemphasized the Catholic theme I had going with my Christmas cards, which are adorned with a picture of St. Peter’s Basilica. That building is a lovely work of architecture, hence why I picked them out.

“Do you have those dark blue ones that are on display back there,” I inquired.

“The Eid ones?” She glances around. “Do you know those are for Ramadan?” The mail lady whispered the last word with a worried look in her eyes as if she were about to be clobbered.

I immediately think, “They’re for Ramadan? Cool!”

“Yes,” I reply.

Another mail lady in the station next to ours leaned over and said, “You sure you didn’t want Hanukkah stamps?” I gave her a funny look.

My mail lady eventually returns with the Eid ul-Fitr* stamps — she had to hunt for them — and rings them up. “That will be $7.40.”

I pay, grab my festive blue stamps, and go to mail off my Christmas cards.

So, now for the burning question. Why would I want to use Ramadan stamps on an ambiguously Catholic Christmas card? In truth, I only picked them out because they were pretty. Simple, simple.

However, I certainly don’t mind the after-effect these cards will portray: no matter what you are celebrating, we all are celebrating, so why don’t we rejoice together? “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hanukkah,” and “Happy Holidays” all mean the same thing to me: “I wish you well.”

_______________________
* that’s the Islamic holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, by the by.

happy magic muppet gloves

For lunch today I walked uptown to get a chicken salad sandwich and some chips from Toomer’s Drugs. If I’m not careful this could turn into a habit — if I worked in a closer building like Hargis or Biggin, I would be in trouble, for their chicken salad sandwiches are extraordinary. I suppose two blocks there and two blocks back is just far enough to walk so you only go there once a week. I’m in a good location.

Last week, while I was there waiting on my sandwich, I let my eyes wander over the Auburn paraphenalia when I noticed the orange gloves. They were muppet gloves; just like my muppet socks that I so enjoy in the winter. Err, in case you’re wondering, I call them ‘muppet socks’ because they look like they were made out of one. Just as my mind began to think, “Awesome!” my sandwich was ready and the gloves fuzzied out of my mind.

I noticed the gloves again today and I got to have a good look at them where they were hanging near the checkout counter. Not only are they orange, they also have blue muppet fur around the wrist-covering part. They are true Auburn muppet gloves, made out of Grover and that orange Elmo-like girl; I forget her name.

Then I noticed what they were called: Magic Gloves. MAGIC GLOVES! Oh, they are marketing after my heart with that title. I can see myself walking down College Street, wearing my Happy Magic Muppet Gloves, and having a wonderful day. Oh, happy glove!

Alas, I didn’t have money enough for both my sandwich and the Magic Happy Gloves, and my stomach won out today. No Magic Gloves for Carrie; just a scrumptious chicken salad sandwich. With some chips.

shop ’till your mouse hand drops

To continue on the Christmas-themed streak, I shall tell of the wonders of present-buying without going to the store; namely, shopping at Amazon.com.

I believe last year was the first year I bought all our Christmas gifts online, and it went quite smoothly, except for the bit where they sent me a PS2 game when I ordered an Xbox version. Even that worked out well, as they sent me the correct game without me having to send the PS2 version back. Come to think of it we still have that game still in the wrapper. Anybody want it — if we can find it?

Everyone will tell you that the best part of buying online is being able to avoid the crazy holiday buyfest that goes on this time of year in all the stores around America. This is quite nice, of course, but my favourite part, actually, is getting the packages mailed to you. There’s not much that is more fun than arriving at home — or work, for that matter — and finding a cardboard package with your name on it. It doesn’t matter that what’s inside isn’t actually for you; it’s just fun to get packages. Even the word ‘packages’ is fun to say. Even the Grinch knows this: “Packages, boxes, or bags!”

So it’s Christmastime again, and I have been doing my online shopping; mainly through Amazon, of course. Not only does it have practically everything (except wacky office toys) but it remembers what you’ve previously bought and when, stuff you’ve drooled over before, and now it even has a Gift Management Center.

This Gift Center thing is quite a trip. It started off by having me check all my past purchases to see if they were gifts, and if they were, I would enter in who they were for. Then you take all those gift recipients and enter their birthdays, anniversaries and the like, stuff you’d like to get them, and you can even connect them to their Wish List if they have one. No more constantly trying to find your specific Smith Jones’ Wish List in a sea of 200 Smith Jonses’ Wish Lists!

This will also help me next Christmas — by the time December 2006 rolls around I know I will have forgotten what I got for whom. Heck, I’ve already done that once this year; Amazon had to remind me.

If you still like going to the mall for your shopping, that’s cool; have fun. Maybe you like the excitement, or it’s tradition, or you need more stress in your life. As for me, I’m going to sit at home and wait for pretty cardboard packages to come knocking.

But then again, I might just make a run to the mall on Christmas Eve because, well, it’s funny. I am reminded of Sunglasses At Night, but that’s another story.

Christmas statistics 2005

Number of times Renton has barfed up tree: 1*
Number of presents Hermione has opened: 0**

* We only had the tree up for less than 24 hours when this happened. We’re trying a soap-and-water tactic this year.

** I’ve invested in plastic-lined foil paper this year, so I hope that resolves this little problem

memories of a Christmas present past

It’s officially after Thanksgiving, so now I can partake of my Christmas playlist at leisure. My iPod’s been dying to play this playlist since April — I know because it’s tried to slip the occasional Christmas song into normal music, like it’s so sly. Skip button, buddy.

A few minutes ago O Little Town of Bethlem began playing, and I was suddenly thrown into a flashback of some eighteen-odd years ago when my sister and I got matching Red-Nosed Dog plushes that played tinny music while its nose flashed. We got them Christmas Eve at my grandparents’ house and we were dying to get home in fear Santa would skip over our house ’cause we weren’t in bed. I remember feeling very antsy, and it would only get worse each time the weatherman came on TV to show us kids where Santa was via radar. Once Santa was shown entering the northeast corner of the state, I think we drove my parents crazy enough to take us home.

I rather enjoyed that Red-Nosed Dog. My sister and I would take them into a room with the lights off so we could see the flashing nose glow bright against the darkness. It didn’t matter to us that they just played Christmas music; we still found them just as entertaining in July as we did in December.

It’s funny how just a little clip of a song can throw you into another time like that. I just experienced those last two paragraphs in the space of a second.

I got a Thundercats sword, claw glove, sheild, and belt that year. Thankfully we made it home before Santa came to Shelby County, though I was hoping silently on the way home that Santa would have already come and gone, and we could have Christmas Day on Christmas Eve. But no, we had to wait until 2 a.m. in the morning, as usual.

thoughts on the movie

We saw the 9:30 showing of Harry Potter last night. “So, how was it?!” you ask. I can only think of three words.

Ho. Lee. Shit.

I don’t see how the Iron Bowl can beat that, but I’ll let it have a shot anyway.

Chills, man. Chills.

Awesome.

Oh . . . and War Eagle!!!